- cashier: do you want the receipt?
- me: yas bitch tell me everything
i’ve grown so unattached from people like i could literally move across the country tomorrow and not give a shit about leaving anyone except for like 3 people
still one of the best things ive ever seen.
slaughter melon reporting for duty.
BROCONUTm a n g ERI NE
too good to not reblog
How can I not reblog slaughtermelon?
isn’t bombegranite cucumber an actor
I knew that was coming
people say ‘I love you’ in a lot of different ways
'get some sleep'
'here have my fries'
'Im gonna draw you something'
"You’re a dork"
"I fucking hate you"
shoutout to people working weekends and overnights and overtime, people working in hospitality and retail and food service, who are sacrificing time with their loved ones, so fuckers with weekday desk jobs get to live comfortably with…
when you and a friend successfully tell a lie you planned out